


Secundum voluntatem tuam

by Lindenharp



Series: On the Wings of the Dawn -- DVD Extras [2]
Category: Lewis (TV)
Genre: Double Drabble, Gen, Religion, Roman Catholicism, Wingfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-28
Updated: 2014-05-28
Packaged: 2018-01-26 20:51:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1702127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lindenharp/pseuds/Lindenharp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why did James leave the seminary?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Secundum voluntatem tuam

**Author's Note:**

> This is a DVD extra related to my wingfic series, _On the Wings of the Dawn_. The DVD extras are missing scenes, background pieces, and scenes retold from alternate POVs. They will make no sense unless you've read the main series, and may contain spoilers. They will not be in a chronological order. 
> 
> Profuse thanks to my two brilliant betas, Wendymr and Divingforstones.

He lies prostrate before the altar, the carpet rough against his forehead, arms and wings extended at perfect right angles to his body. After uncounted hours, his shoulder muscles ache, but that doesn't matter. The pain helps him focus on his intention.

He pleads for the hundredth time, _Et nunc Domine, secundum voluntatem tuam fac mecum_. And now, O Lord, do with me according to thy will. What _is_ God's will for him? The first time he entered the seminary's chapel, the answer was clear. Now the silence seems to tell him, once again, a father has found him lacking.

* * *

Father Hughes watches from the doorway. Seminarians often request an overnight vigil when wrestling with the doubts now plaguing James. He hasn't confided in his spiritual director, but the signs are clear. James's conscience won't allow him to pursue an imperfect vocation.

Hughes retreats. He could throttle his brother in Christ, James's childhood priest. The Church teaches that wings _may_ signal a vocation, but pressuring a child of eight... unconscionable! Without Thirlwell's meddling, James might have found a vocation anyway. Instead, the Church has lost a promising priest, and James has lost his way.

What will become of him now?

**Author's Note:**

> This double drabble was inspired by a conversation between James and Robbie in Chapter 3 of _If I Speed Away_.
>
>> “Is this why you left the seminary?”
>> 
>> “No, this is why I went into the seminary. The Church calls it a blessing,” James says bitterly. “A visible manifestation of God’s favour, and a sign that the person may be called to a vocation in His service. Father Thirlwell started talking to me about the priesthood shortly after I made my First Communion.”


End file.
